Fight boy, fight
You don't want to go back to what you were. Being miserable doesn't suit you. Tears will be spilled no matter what you choose. But make the wrong choices and things could get much worse.
You can always be hurt once again. Everyone can always suffer more. There is always something to lose. It can always get worse.
Fight back the stillness of false security. You know how to live. Don't think too much, don't plan too much. Your past self already did all the thinking. Don't underestimate your past self.
Don't overestimate your future self either. He won't be much better than you. He won't have the responses to your problems. He will be as clueless as you.
Maybe your past self relied too much on you. You feel betrayed by him. This traitor didn't make any effort for you. So you don't want to help either.
But don't pass on the burden to your future self. Do so you will also be a traitor to him. Do so and we will never improve. Be kind to yourself. Let yourself be a better person.
Break the chain. Lead all of your selves. Go toward the identity we all want. Stir everyone in the right direction. Do like I did.